Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
