apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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