remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
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