so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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