I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
