masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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