i already hear my dad disowning me
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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