I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
