fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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