Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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