we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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