im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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