I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize