I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
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couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
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Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You did what with his pubic hair?
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