You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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