yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
