And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
