Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
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He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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