My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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