why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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