Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Quick, to the slutcave!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
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