Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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