Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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