No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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