I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize