3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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