margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
