OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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