I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
His hands were made for my vagina.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
