all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
