I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
