I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
