on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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