do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Please don't give away my fajitas
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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