Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize