R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
