You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
