READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
