Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we're making bets on your personal life
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
