In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"