idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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