a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
