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Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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