there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
