He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
