i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
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