Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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