A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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