This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
