There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Sober January is a disaster.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
