I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
