I can text with my tongue
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
