using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
