That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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