and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
