wakey wakey hands off snakey
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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